You have discovered that your child has dysorthographia. You read articles, you look for solutions, you multiply your efforts. But have you considered checking whether some of these strategies might be making things worse? This is a rarely discussed subject: sometimes, parental help reinforces the disorder instead of supporting it. This article explores the unintentional mistakes that well-meaning parents make, and how to avoid them.
The illusion of ‘intensive correction’: more is not better
The first mistake? Thinking that making a child practise ‘a lot’ will correct dysorthographia. A parent sees their child make one mistake, then another, then a third. Panic rises. The instinctive reaction? Add two hours of ‘extra homework’ to ‘improve’.
Yet dysorthographia is not laziness or a lack of practice. It is a disorder of written language processing that persists regardless of the number of exercises. Forcing a child with dysorthographia to do repetitive dictations is like trying to ‘correct’ a form of dyslexia by reading more. That is not how it works.
The consequences? Frustration, anxiety about writing and, worse, the child learns that ‘working harder’ is never enough. They develop a very dangerous belief: ‘I’m useless, no matter how hard I try’. This is exactly the opposite of the message you want to convey.
What to do instead
Reduce the quantity of spelling exercises. Favour short (15–20 minute), targeted sessions, always linked to a specific strategy (word games, digital tools, multisensory methods). Quality matters more than quantity. And above all: value effort, not the immediate spelling result.
The trap of comparing with siblings
Your child with dysorthographia has a brother or sister who does dictations without any trouble. You regularly hear: ‘Why don’t you do it like your sister?’ or ‘She manages it without any effort’.
This comparison, even if unspoken, is toxic. It sends a clear message: ‘You are different, and that is wrong’. Yet dysorthographia is not a matter of willpower or intelligence. It is a distinct neurological functioning.
Children with dysorthographia are experts at detecting impatience or judgement behind your words. Even if you think you are saying something harmless, they pick up the subtext: ‘You are letting us down. Others manage to do better than you’.
How to change this dynamic
Recognise and publicly value the different talents of each of your children. If your child with dysorthographia has excellent creativity, remarkable empathy or strong oral skills: say so regularly, without necessarily linking it to spelling. Do not try to ‘compensate’ for their difficulty by praising their other qualities (‘You spell badly, but at least you’re kind’). Value their strengths as strengths in their own right.
Not letting spelling become the core of their identity
A well-meaning mistake: making spelling the centre of every interaction. At school, remarks fly. At home, you pile it on. At dinner: ‘And your dictation?’ At the chemist’s: ‘Show me what you wrote’. At every break: a focus on mistakes.
Before long, your child with dysorthographia comes to believe that their identity boils down to: ‘I’m someone who can’t write’. Worse: they take it on board that this is the only thing that really matters to the adults around them.
Research shows that children with dysorthographia who build a positive identity outside of writing do better, both in their learning and in their overall well-being. Your role is to help them see that they are far more than their spelling difficulties.
Refocusing conversations
Yes, spelling should be addressed when it is relevant. But never let it become the default topic. Take an interest in their passions, dreams and achievements in other areas. Talk about sport, books, creative projects, their friendships. Spelling should be a detail, not the essence of who they are.
The mistake of ‘hidden perfectionism’: demanding too subtly
Many parents of children with dysorthographia (or perfectionists by nature) send a contradictory message: ‘Don’t worry about spelling, it’s not a big deal.’ Then, subtly, they reread every sentence, correct in red, sigh on spotting a mistake, or ask ‘Are you sure?’ before they send a text.
The child picks up on this contradiction. The implicit message becomes: ‘It’s not a big deal… but clearly you should do better. And I’ll check for you because I’m afraid you’ll make a mistake.’
This creates an emotional dependence on the parent’s gaze. The child with dysorthographia does not develop confidence in their own abilities; they constantly seek to please or to avoid unspoken disapproval.
Truly accepting (not just in words)
If you genuinely accept dysorthographia, stop correcting automatically. Let them send a text with a mistake. Look at their draft without initial comment. Ask ‘Are you happy with what you wrote?’ instead of ‘Did you check the spelling?’.
This genuine acceptance changes everything. The child relaxes, stops writing out of fear and, paradoxically, engages better in learning.
Not neglecting the emotional side: dysorthographia causes suffering
A silent trap: treating dysorthographia as a purely educational problem. We look for the right methods, the right tools, the right exercises. But we forget that your child is suffering emotionally.
At school, others notice their mistakes. Teachers point out their errors. Their French marks are poor even though they understand everything. They feel humiliated, misunderstood, stupid. This suffering is not an exaggeration or excessive sensitivity; it is a logical and valid reaction.
If you only deal with spelling without addressing the anxiety, shame or depression that may accompany it, you are staying on the surface.
Validate emotionally, first
Before adding one more exercise, listen: ‘It’s frustrating, I understand. Spelling is hard for you, and that’s okay. It says nothing about your intelligence.’ Then, decide together on strategies for managing frustration and anxiety: breathing, pauses, movement, time in nature.
Consult a professional (psychologist, personal development coach) if your child shows signs of anxiety or depression linked to school. Dysorthographia is better addressed when emotional well-being is also taken care of.
Confusing diagnosis with explanation: the trap of fatalism
Once dysorthographia has been diagnosed, some parents swing to the other extreme. They say: ‘Well, it’s diagnosed, so there’s nothing he can do.’ And they stop all structured support.
This is a mistake. A diagnosis is not a life sentence; it is a starting point. Dysorthographia is stable, yes, but strategies, tools and the environment can greatly change your child’s quality of life and outcomes.
Saying ‘He has dysorthographia, so he’ll spell badly all his life’ amounts to giving up. Yet, with the right approaches (digital tools, tailored strategies, inclusive teaching), your child can absolutely succeed, even with dysorthographia.
Restoring a sense of agency
Turn the diagnosis into active understanding. ‘You have dysorthographia, which means your brain works differently when it comes to spelling. We have tools and strategies that will help you. It’s not a problem, and we’ll build solutions together.’
Involve your child in finding solutions. Let them try digital tools, discover what works for them, suggest creative ideas to make writing less stressful.
Not coordinating with school: working in silos
You support your child at home. The speech and language therapist sees them in sessions. But school carries on as if nothing has changed, without adapting its practices. And you have not really worked on dialogue between these three worlds.
The result: three different, often contradictory approaches. The child receives mixed messages. And progress that could emerge through coordination remains fragmented.
Building a genuine partnership
Arrange regular meetings (in person or via structured email) between parents, the speech and language therapist and the teacher. Agree together on a common direction: which strategies? Which tools? Which adjustments?
If the school refuses adjustments, find out from the MDPH (Maison Départementale des Personnes Handicapées) or formally request a PAP (Plan d’Accompagnement Personnalisé). The speech and language therapist alone is not enough if the school environment does not change too.
Confusing dysorthographia with other disorders: looking for the problem elsewhere
Sometimes a child has several difficulties. Parents and teachers look for a single explanation: ‘It’s dyslexia. No, it’s ADHD. Or it’s just laziness.’
Dysorthographia can coexist with other disorders. But it needs to be treated specifically. If you look for general solutions to ADHD hoping this will sort out the dysorthographia, you will be disappointed.
The same applies in reverse: treating only the dysorthographia while ignoring undiagnosed social anxiety will not be enough.
Carrying out a full assessment
Ask a qualified professional (speech and language therapist or psychologist) to assess dysorthographia specifically, but also to identify other possible factors: anxiety, attention, self-confidence, comprehension of written language, etc.
A multimodal assessment allows for truly tailored support, rather than looking for a single cause that does not exist.
Frequently asked questions
My child with dysorthographia refuses to write. How can I motivate them without forcing them?
Refusing to write is often a sign of anxiety or frustration. Never force it. Instead, explore what is blocking them: fear of making mistakes? Shame? Tiredness? Once the blockage has been identified, look for alternative routes: writing about a subject they are passionate about, using a digital tool, or dictating their thoughts to someone else. Motivation returns once the fear is removed.
Are digital tools enough to get around dysorthographia?
No. Digital tools (spell checkers, word predictors) are valuable aids, but they neither correct the disorder nor really teach the skills involved. They need to be combined with appropriate teaching, speech and language therapy, and emotional understanding.
Is there an “ideal” frequency for spelling practice at home?
Rather than a fixed frequency, adapt it to your child’s tiredness and motivation. Two or three 15-minute sessions a week, playful and pressure-free, are better than one stressful hour a week. The emotional quality of the session matters more than the number of hours.
To find out more
- Ameli.fr: comprehensive information on dysorthographia, registered healthcare professionals and available support.
- MDPH (Maison Départementale des Personnes Handicapées): advice on PAP, PAI and school accommodations for children with dysorthographia.
- Fédération Française des DYS: resources, parental advice and a directory of professionals specialising in dysorthographia.
