Do you or your child have dysorthographia and feel you are never doing enough? Do you reread a message ten times before sending it, lose heart at the slightest mistake, or avoid writing for fear of getting it wrong? You are not alone. Perfectionism is a common trap for people with dysorthographia. Far from helping, this excessive self-demand creates stress, undermines self-confidence and, paradoxically, slows progress. This article takes apart this harmful myth and shows why rigour should not be confused with perfection.
The myth of the saving grace of perfectionism
We often hear: ‘If you just try a little harder, you’ll get there’. This well-meant phrase reinforces a false and harmful belief. It suggests that dysorthographia is a lack of willpower, and that only excessive effort can make up for it. In fact, this is a serious confusion.
Dysorthographia is a neurodevelopmental disorder, not a lack of concentration or motivation. Pushing someone with dysorthographia towards perfectionism is like asking someone of a different build to ‘try harder’ to play professional basketball. Intense effort is not enough when the way the brain functions is different.
Yet many people with dysorthographia internalise this message and develop extreme self-demand: checking every letter, rewriting several times, putting off sending an email for fear of judgement. This perfectionist behaviour then becomes an additional emotional burden.
Why perfectionism makes things worse
Cognitive exhaustion
Writing already requires concentrated effort for someone with dysorthographia. Adding a layer of perfectionism (‘I must check every word, I must not make a single mistake’) drains cognitive resources more quickly. The brain tires, vigilance drops, and paradoxically, you make more mistakes, not fewer.
The paralysis of doubt
Perfectionism creates a decision-making paralysis. The person hesitates between several spellings of a word, constantly questions their choice and rereads obsessively. This mental rumination does not improve spelling; it merely consumes time and wellbeing.
The impact on self-esteem
When you set yourself standards that are impossible to meet (‘zero errors’), you put yourself in a state of permanent failure. Dysorthographia, by its nature, produces errors. A perfectionist with dysorthographia therefore constantly feels ‘useless’, never good enough, which feeds anxiety, shame and even depression.
Avoidance, the worst enemy of progress
After constantly criticising themselves, many people with dysorthographia end up avoiding writing. They refuse written tasks, do not take part in online written discussions and do not send messages. Yet it is precisely by writing (with kindness towards yourself) that you make progress. Avoidance creates a vicious circle: the less you write, the less you practise, the less you improve.
Dismantling the myth: perfectionism ≠ quality
We must not confuse rigour with perfectionism. Someone who is rigorous uses their tools, rereads calmly, accepts their mistakes and corrects them without punishing themselves. Someone who is a perfectionist tortures themselves, belittles themselves and aims for the impossible.
Let us look at the facts:
- The greatest writers make mistakes and reread their work with pragmatism, not obsessive perfectionism.
- People with dysorthographia who progress best are those who accept their disorder and use the right tools without guilt.
- A ‘flawed but sent’ text is often more useful and authentic than a perfect text that will never see the light of day.
Breaking the cycle: how to move away from excessive self-demand
Redefining your goals
Instead of ‘I must make zero errors’, aim for: ‘I will write clearly, using my tools’. This is realistic, kind and motivating.
Using correction tools without guilt
Dysorthographia has always existed, but today we have intelligent spell checkers. Using them is not ‘cheating’; it is smart. Everyone, whether or not they have dysorthographia, uses a spell checker. It is a tool, not an admission of weakness.
Accepting that a mistake remains a mistake, not a catastrophe
A slip in an email is not a judgement on your worth. It is simply a mistake. Most readers couldn’t care less. The few who do judge do not deserve your mental energy.
Celebrating small progress
Instead of punishing yourself for every mistake, note your improvements. Did you write a longer text this week without losing heart? Well done. Did you correct a particular category of errors? Success. These small victories build solid confidence.
Writing ‘badly’ and turning it into a strength
Paradoxically, accepting that you write imperfectly often frees up more creativity and authenticity. Many people with dysorthographia develop a strong personal style precisely because they are not imprisoned by form. They look first for the essence of the message.
A message for loved ones
If you support someone with dysorthographia, never reinforce the idea that ‘one more try’ would solve the problem. Do not say ‘If you really concentrated…’ or ‘Why don’t you reread it?’. These phrases are toxic. Instead, encourage acceptance, the use of tools and kindness towards oneself.
Conclusion: true strength lies in acceptance
Dysorthographia is not a shortcoming to be compensated for with perfectionism. It is a neurological difference to be managed intelligently. People with dysorthographia who succeed are those who:
- Accept how they function without shame.
- Use the right tools pragmatically.
- Set realistic, not impossible, goals.
- Write regularly without being mentally cruel to themselves.
You have dysorthographia. You are not dysorthographia. And yes, you will make mistakes. Like everyone else. The difference? You will know why, and you will have learnt to live with it without self-destructing. That is the real victory.
To find out more
- Fédération Française des Associations de Dyspraxie, Dyslexie, Dysorthographie (FADDT): offers resources and guidance for people concerned and their families.
- Santé publique France (Ameli.fr): find information sheets on written language disorders and support resources.
- Institut National de la Santé et de la Recherche Médicale (INSERM): explore scientific studies on neurodevelopmental disorders and their mechanisms.
