Explaining dysorthographia to your child

After the diagnosis, one question arises: how do you talk about it with your child? Should you tell them they are dysorthographic? In what words? Explaining their disorder is often a real relief for them. Here is how to approach this conversation, depending on their age, and how to reassure them. An important conversation, and often a liberating one.

Why explain it to them

Your child senses that they have difficulties. They can see that they make more spelling mistakes than others, despite their efforts. Without an explanation, they may think they are useless, lazy or less intelligent. This feeling can weigh heavily.

Putting a name to their difficulties helps them understand that it is not their fault. This is often a great relief. Understanding the struggle helps.

Understanding their disorder also helps them accept the support offered and get involved in their rehabilitation. They become an active participant in their own care. See the common misconceptions.

Using simple words

Use words suited to their age. For a young child, you can say that their brain finds it harder to remember how words are spelt, and that they need to learn in a different way. Simple words are the best.

For an older child, you can use the word “dysorthographia” and explain that it is a disorder affecting spelling, just as other children have difficulties with maths or sport. These comparisons help them put things into perspective.

Avoid complicated medical terms, and frightening words such as “illness”. Frightening words should be avoided.

Emphasising intelligence

It is essential to tell them clearly that their dysorthographia has nothing to do with their intelligence. They are just as capable as others; their brain simply works differently when it comes to spelling. This message is essential.

Remind them of their successes, their talents, and what they do well. They need to understand that spelling is only one part of who they are. Their talents deserve to be recognised.

See dysorthographia and intelligence. They are much more than their spelling.

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Giving hope

Explain that solutions exist: the speech and language therapist will help them make progress, school will adapt certain things, and there are tools that will help them. Solutions are reassuring.

Show them that many dys people succeed very well, in all fields. If you or a family member have the same difficulties, share your experience. These examples are encouraging.

See can dysorthographia be cured. Your own journey may inspire them.

Answering their questions

Give them time to ask their questions, and answer honestly. If they ask whether it will go away, explain that they will make progress, even though it will remain a little harder for them. Their questions deserve answers.

They may react in different ways: relief, sadness, anger. All of these are legitimate. Welcome them without playing them down. Their emotions are valid.

The conversation may continue over several days or weeks, as their questions arise. The conversation can carry on.

Resources

Children’s books, picture books or videos explain dys disorders to children, using simple words and illustrations. They can make the conversation easier. These resources make the conversation easier.

The speech and language therapist can also explain the disorder to your child, with their expertise and kindness. Their professional perspective helps.

See books to understand it. You do not have to explain it alone.

Teaching them how to talk about it

As they grow up, your child may need to explain their dysorthographia to classmates, teachers or, later, to employers. Knowing how to talk about it is a strength.

Help them find their own words to talk about it, if they wish. This is a valuable skill for their independence. Their own words matter.

They remain free to choose who they talk to about it. That choice is theirs. See dysorthographia and friendships.

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Questions that keep coming up

Should you tell your child they are dysorthographic? ?

Yes, generally it is a relief. They understand that their difficulties do not come from a lack of effort or intelligence. This is often a great relief.

What words to use to explain dysorthographia ?

Simple words suited to their age: their brain finds it harder to remember how words are spelt, and they will learn in a different way. Adapt the words to their age.